Grief and Gratitude May 8, 2010

April 12, 2010. Without a doubt, one of the worst days of my life. That’s the day my precious Murray took his last breath.

Me and Mr. Murray in December 2009.

While I’ve frankly been a mess this past month, I am also filled with gratitude for so many things. I was blessed to have nearly ten years with the most perfect little boy. He was my soul mate and will always be the light of my life. I couldn’t have asked for anything more. I will love him and miss him every day for as long as I live. I was also lucky enough to meet some amazing people who took wonderful care of my baby.

My sweet little Bichon Murray was diagnosed with lymphoma in January 2007. He was just six years old. As I’ve described before, his diagnosis was almost as hard for me to handle as my own. (Ironically, for the same type of cancer.) I knew doggie chemo was available, but there was no way on earth I was going to put my baby through the hell that I had endured. Fortunately, doggie chemo and people chemo are quite different. While they use the same drugs, the doggie dose is significantly lower as the goal isn’t a “cure,” but a remission of several years. At the time, I was told 12 to 14 months was the average survival for dogs on the “gold standard” chemo option. (Which, of course, Murray was going to receive. Nothing but the best for my baby.) He lived 39 months after diagnosis. Even his oncology team agrees that he is a true little miracle boy.

Murray and his buddies on a Home Depot field trip.

I may have been hesitant at first, but I don’t regret for one second anything I did medically for my baby. The chemo did what is was supposed to do, and caused him minimal issues. Of course there were complications, but they were few and far between. Murray spent the overwhelming majority of the last 39 months of his life feeling good and living well. In fact, at the end of March, he enjoyed a fun-filled field trip to Home Depot with a couple of his close friends.

Murray receiving his blood transfusion, March 2010.

I cannot be more grateful to those that cared for my baby – his oncologist, Dr. Stephen Atwater and the team at East Bay Veterinary Specialists in Walnut Creek, CA. I cannot recommend them highly enough. Mr. Murray and I were always treated well by everyone there. The goal was always Murray’s well-being and quality of life. I think they loved my baby almost as much as I did. They even allowed me to stay with him during an all-day and half-the-night blood transfusion. They set us up in an exam room so I could hold him and be with him for the 15 hour infusion. Many of the staff checked in on us regularly, and several sat with me for a several hours after their shifts ended. Truly amazing people, and I hope, lasting friends.

Those who are not “dog people” might not understand the importance of a top-rate doggie oncology team. They care for and provide comfort for the most precious thing in your life, and also for you. If you ever need an oncologist for your furry friend (and I pray you never do) you will not find one better than Dr. Atwater. And if you ever do need one, be sure to tell him Murray sent you.

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