Last week, just a couple of days before Thanksgiving, I heard what every cancer survivor wants to hear. After sixteen years of radiation, chemo, surgeries, clinical trials, transplants and more, I was OFFICIALLY declared five years cancer free – my PET scan showed “no evidence of disease,” four of my favorite words. (WOO and HOO!!!)
But what does that mean? In cancer world, five years without treatment and without a recurrence is considered “cured.” Yes, I was relieved and excited. VERY excited. In fact, I danced a little jig in my oncologist’s office. Literally. Complete with my version of a stylish “cabbage patch” move. But how does this affect my day-to-day life? Knowing I’ve gone five years without those stupid little cells rearing their ugly heads is a HUGE relief. I’ve been fighting cancer most of my adult life, and frankly I’m a bit tired of this monster. However, I’ve already entered a new phase of this cancer nonsense: the World of Late Effects.
The World of Late Effects is a land that many hope to enter, hate once they arrive, but are happy to be there. Huh? Let me explain. Cancer therapy today is basically a carpet-bomb-then-try-to-salvage endeavor. More shotgun than sniper. Ungodly amounts of radiation and hideous amounts of poison are thrown at you, with the goal of killing the cancer. Makes sense, however healthy cells are caught in the cross-fire, resulting in side effects such as hair loss and nausea. Unfortunately, that’s not the end of it.
Treatment is finished, you merrily skip away cancer-free, then three, four, or five years later your body starts misbehaving. Parts start to hurt. Yes, you may be cancer-free, but you’ve entered Late Effects Land which can include organs revolting, premature aging of the body and damaged joints, just for starters.
I was initially diagnosed and treated in 1994, so even though I was still receiving treatment as late as 2005, I’d been visiting Late Effects Land since 1999. Arthritis in my neck. Cataracts in both eyes. And new this year, a breakdown of the bones in both shoulders and both hips, resulting in a shoulder replacement in August with additional joint replacements on the horizon. And this is just the tip of the iceberg.
Meds such as prednisone are both miracle drugs and the bane of my existence. Frankly, I doubt I would still be here if it weren’t for prednisone – it has been a major player in my battle. As grateful as I am for all it has done for me, I absolutely hate what it has done, and continues to do to the previously healthy parts of my poor body. Thus, the conundrum. It’s taken me sixteen years to get here, and I’m thrilled to focusing exclusively on the World of Late Effects, but I hate being here. However, the alternative is significantly less attractive.
So I guess I’ll stop whining about my battle-wary body and go back to celebrating an amazing milestone. Anyone want to join me in a little jig?
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It’s definitely a conundrum. If it weren’t for the treatments, we wouldn’t have these late effects, but if it weren’t for the treatments, we wouldn’t be here to complain about them. I understand what you mean fully. I am now 44 years beyond treatment, and my body is falling apart, but at least I am here.
Exactly! I’m thrilled to be here to complain. SO much better than the alternative!